Monday, December 5, 2011

Nice Days

Post, slant, in, out, slout, go. Which one are we doing this time? I focus all my energy in running my route, while trying to fake out my cornerback. At the same time, I have to pay attention to the quarterback, where the ball is, not running into my teammates, where the defense and open spaces are, and most importantly, catching the ball. I’ve never played football, but I recently discovered it’s pretty complicated.

It was made more difficult as I was distracted by the weather throughout the practice. It was the kind of day where you just wanted to lay down, let the sunshine wash away your problems, because its heat was gentle, like waves lapping over the entire body. There was a soft wind so it was never uncomfortable during practice, but that comfortable feeling resulted in the fumble of many of my attempted catches. But I was grateful for the company of friends and sports as if it weren’t for them, I probably wouldn’t have been out in the first place.

The sun was gently setting behind the trees, still high enough so that the leaves glowed lightly. The grass was greener, sidewalks were cleaner, and the campus was more animated, nothing could’ve gone wrong. The sun peaked out from between buildings, to embrace certain areas in its amiable light. I’m sure that everyone that I saw that day had smiles on their faces, chatting excitedly with elevated spirits. Certainly we were all joking and laughing during our practice. On these kinds of days, I could walk forever, but time is impatient, and the brisk afternoon soon turned to a cool evening. With spirits raised, I went back home, thinking only happy thoughts.

The power of beautiful weather is exceptional.

Delirium

I’m going crazy. I think I’m losing my ability to distinguish between what’s real and what’s not. I can’t remember what happened a few days ago. My mind fills in the blanks for me, creating memories from nothing, but I lose track of the reality. I do everything uncomprehendingly, feeling like life is a façade. The world is fake, hiding something mysterious and genuine behind it. Everyday is the same. I wake up the next day and everything is the same as it was a week ago. I could put my hand on a razor blade and the next day everything would be the same as it was a week ago.

I go to sleep and wake up with no change in mindset. Throughout any given day, even if I’m rested, I’m just a sleepwalker out of his bed. In the end, dreams become memories and memories are just dreams, and I lose the facility to differentiate the two.